Today I am weighing in at 199 lbs. I wear a size 14 pant and some days it is only because I refuse to buy the next size up.
Here I am. This was taken a little over a month ago at our daughter's wedding rehearsal. I had been doing the usual preparation that you hear most women talk about leading up to a wedding.....you know the I want to get into my dress talk. The problem was it was all talk. Yes I got into my dress but it was not the size I wanted to buy. Since my husband tells me every day that I am beautiful and he loves me (he is so amazing) I really had the confidence to think I look and feel better than I actually do.
Ugh! Ok granted I had no make up on and I was in a state of high stress at that moment.....still the resounding view is that my clothes look melted on to me and if I am honest with myself I can remember that I wrestled with those clothes all day constantly trying to re-situate myself in them as I rolled around.
I have focused so many times on being healthy, dropping weight, reading articles, being obsessive about one aspect of it or another and then utterly burning out and giving up. I give myself permission to give up usually because of time schedules. Things happen like someone comes into town for a visit or a special gathering happens.....and it all revolves around food. Food stimulates those happy feelings and makes everything more memorable.
But I want to learn how to have those happy feelings about foods that God made. He made them for a reason.
My husband and I recently watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. It was inspiring and motivating.
I have so many learned schools of thought in my head on how to eat and be healthy. Raw, juice, smoothie, healthy choices, 80/20 rule, how to balance it all......
Every one has a different opinion. It makes me wish someone would just put food in front of me and tell me it is the best choice. But then I remember I can ask God and He will tell me.....there is a novel concept.
Today I am starting a 3 day cleanse to get me going. I know long term juicing as an only source of food is not optimal. It keeps away the important fiber bulk that our bodies need. But a fast is a different story. A fast is a good thing.
Last night I stocked my fridge with beautiful produce and get everything ready to follow a 3 day reboot. I am excited.
Here I go..........
Later at the end of my first day...
It has been fun and interesting.
Fun: exploring God made flavors, nice to not have to think about what and how to cook
Interesting: I didn't realize how emotional my eating has become. Wow I found myself pacing and wanting to throw something crunchy in my mouth.
What did today look like?
I had 2 cups of hot lemon water first thing in the morning. I chased that down with an "orange" juice. Mid morning was a coconut water and then a "green" juice for lunch. Afternoon snack was a "red" juice which really looked more like super dark and alarming had I not known what was in it. Dinner was another "green" juice and now I am enjoying a "purple" juice.
Are all the colors odd? They say we are supposed to have a rainbow every day and these color combos help be do just that. Here is what I chose today....
Orange: 2 granny apples, 4 carrots and a whole lemon with peel
Green: 2 granny apples, 2 cucumbers, 6 kale leaves, handful parsley
Red: 1 granny apple, 1/4 red cabbage, 3 carrots, 3 cups leafy greens (oops forgot the ginger)
Green: 6 kale/romaine, 3 handfuls spinach, 1 granny apple, 1 cucumber, 2 celery stalks, 1 lemon with peel
Purple: 2 peaches, handful blueberries, 1 sweet potato
Timing is important. I let my afternoon get too long in between drinks and my stomach was grumbling.
But then again, that hungry feeling is nice. It has become such a foreign feeling to me.
I am so grateful my husband is supporting and encouraging me.
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